MOVING!!! Woo Hoo!!!

So last weekend, my family, friends, Ben, and I have been working on moving me to the mother-in-law apartment in my parents' basement. It's just down the stairs for me, but we had lots of furniture to bring in and clear out, not to mention the rearranging of the now vacant bedrooms upstairs. It's been a lot of work but it's been so worth it and I'm so excited about how the apartment is coming together. It does make me miss Ben even more at night though to now have all this space for myself without anyone to share it with. Like Mark Twain said: To derive the greatest joy in life, we must divide it with someone else. It's also been interesting to have a king bed all to myself because I fall asleep on the side where my lamp is and when my alarm goes off in the morning from the other side of the bed, I reach for it and all I can feel is MORE BED! So then I roll over a few times and then I can stretch out and reach the button.

What I love most about moving out is the change in my mom that it has instilled. She is now viewing me as an adult and the idea of me moving out and getting married isn't as scary for her. She can actually see some benefits now (like being able to turn my room into the work out room...) It's been really good for all of us, she lets me do my thing and I'm doing my best to survive on my own (which only works to some extent since they still cover my gas and groceries and I don't even have an oven or microwave downstairs... it's basically been pasta on the stove down there... the oven/microwave is coming, soon, I hope).

New Adventures... of the "Benver" Kind

Last weekend was one of the harder and at the same time most memorable and exciting weekends I've ever had. Thursday and Friday I had a viewing and funeral for Ben's grandpa, which was actually really nice. I usually can't handle funeral events because they're so sad and all about mourning, but this one was a celebration. A celebration of life and the family that has come about because of that wonderful man. It was also a lot of fun to see the family again.

It had me thinking, death really isn't that scary of a concept. For some it's an ending, but for me it seems like the ending of one chapter but the beginning of a brand new chapter full of new and exciting adventures. I love life and I love being here, I know that this can't be it. I know that I'll be able to continue on living somehow and that I'll get to be with the people that I love even after this life is over. It also really comforts me to know that when that time does come, I will have my very best friend by my side, or at least waiting for me to continue on with our crazy life together.

We also went up to a yurt, which was my first time ever in a yurt but it was so much fun! I got to go ski untracked pow pow until my legs just couldn't take it anymore. Then we had a very nice porch sit in the late afternoon before dinner. So much fun! A lot of work and now I'm very sore but really, really worth it!

The Luckiest Girl in the World

While sitting here, studying alone at home with the dogs, I've realized something. It's something I've always known but at this particular moment in my life it is especially apparent that I am the luckiest girl in the world. Sure, I have the stress of school and Boards and a lot of other things that come up, but I've also got a lot more.

I've got amazing parents The best sister ever, Three dogs that love me so much. As I study here, they are all laying around me, cuddling as close as possible. While it does make it a little hot at times, I never feel lonely with them around. I have a really great best friend who is always there for me and I've got the very best friend and boyfriend in the world: Ben. He is so sweet to me always and he knows how to keep me happy and calm even in my crazy moments of disparity and stress. He knows when to be sweet, when to be strong, when to talk, when to listen, when to play, when to be still. He just knows me and even more so, he still loves me reguardless. I seriously have a really good life. I'm so happy to always be able to feel loved, respected, and wanted by all the lovely people (and puppies) in my life.

Goals

To help me get through this ominous and seemingly endless year, I have learned to set goals. Not just the big goals like graduate and pass the Board exams, but little goals that help me feel accomplished all along the way. I've made goals for cleaning, cooking, painting, finding patients, and my surprising favorite of all goals: to exercise???

I, like probably a very large majority of the people I know, hate exercising. I do not like to run and I could care less about muscle tone or losing weight, the normal things people worry about. Luckily, Ben always finds a way to motivate me to do the things I'm not especially compelled to do on my own, and this time he didn't even mean to.

My reason is this:

Back country skiing!

Honestly, I haven't really done much backcountry since my friends don't ski and my parents are resort rats, but I love the idea of going out on a bare mountain to get the fresh tracks.

Sounds great right? Totally, except for the fact that in order to get that untouched powder, you have to hike to it!!! Yikes! I absolutely abhor hiking, especially with skis strapped to my back and a huge pair of inflexible plastic boots on my feet. Thank goodness for whoever invented the wonderful idea of skins and alpine touring gear! Skins are a kind of furry material that you put on the bottoms of your skis that don't allow you to slip backwards that you use for hiking uphill with your skis on. Alpine touring bindings are a special binding that allows you to release your heel and even put a block up to make the angle easier on your ankles when skinning.

I'm going to try to learn to telemark ski so that I can have the advantage of the loose heel when skinning without having to get AT bindings.

Skinning is a lot easier than hiking up, but it's still a lot of work and you usually go for miles at a time. Therefore, I need to be in shape, especially if I want to keep up with my crazy boyfriend who is about the strongest hiker I know.

He also wants me to be his assistant trip leader when he starts the weekly backcountry treks up the mountain, I don't want to be the weak girly trip leader that everyone has to wait for so I have no choice but to work out.

We go to the gym about 3 times a week to rock climb and then run about 2 miles. I'm actually learning to not hate the running so much, it's kind of nice to have a good break from everything else and it helps me clear my mind so I can concentrate better when I study. It makes me feel more productive and accomplished, it's been very good for me. With this being one of the most stressful semesters ever for me, I seriously need all the help I can get.

I don't know how he does it, but he's managed to get me driven enough to continue with an exercise plan that I've been trying but too lazy and unmotivated to carry out for the last four years! It's so good! Now we just need some snow...

Ready to Move On

I really want to get out of my house. I love my parents and they've been really good to me my whole life but it's time. It's time for me and them to move on, and I feel like me being there still is causing more problems than anything. I feel almost in the way and like every time I try to help, it's not enough or it flies back in my face and I actually get in trouble for it. I feel like in order to preserve my sanity and the relationship with my parents, I need to leave. I need to leave so that when I see them it can be like a vacation, not a chore. I can be so excited to see them instead of excited to leave. I wish I could be out, but for now I can't. I have plans and goals which can only be reached right now by saving and earning as much as I can now while it's a bit easier and not so stressful. Basically, I'm stuck, and what can I do about it? Just keep on living as I have been I guess. Endure to the end right?

Not Again

I went to Mexico over the break and it was awesome but I've decided one thing for sure: I'm not going to leave Ben for that long ever again! I had a lot of fun but it was hard to be in that place that I love so much but not have my whole heart there. I really wanted him to be with me for the beach and fun and I wish I could have been with him for the alpine touring up by Camp Cloud Rim. It's also just caused so many problems that I hope don't have far reaching ramifications... either way I know where I am and where I want to be and nothing will change that. I've made my choice I'm just hoping now that life is kind and makes that choice a little easier for me. I'm not going anywhere, I've found what I want so how could I leave?

Mi Soledad

Well, it's almost the end of the semester, and I'm lonely. I miss Ben, and I can't do anything about it. He's so busy being good and responsible by studying for his tests that his professors decided to pile on him this week. I'm so proud of him, but I really miss spending time with him. I've had to go two nights this week without Ben and I can't stand it! To all of you married people out there: please appreciate the fact that you get to be with your significant other all night. They always say to enjoy the dating years but honestly, they're not so great. What part of being lonely and busy and tired and still not having time to see Ben is supposed to be enjoyable?

Some of my Favorite Girls!

So this weekend, Ben went to the WRC's yert for work, and my dad took Bear to Island Park with him so tonight I am officially boy-less. I miss my boys so much and having Ben be gone helps me see how absolutely crazy about him I am. It also gave me an opportunity to remember once again how much the girls in my life mean. They've all been a huge impact in my life and helped me become the person I am. I don't have enough pictures or time to mention them all but here are a few that are especially close to me:

Of course, there's the hound, Bagheera. She's really good at cuddling me and making me feel better even when I'm alone. She also keeps my boy happy when I can't be there. She also plays some pretty some pretty mean ball. Que haria sin la hija?

Katy, Brit and I always have the funnest girls nights! I miss Katy and wish she wasn't so far away and she could come play more often.

Of course, I LOVE BRIT!!! ...really, that's the very best way to put it, she's pretty much the best "girlfriend" ever!

My sister is one of my best friends, I miss her so much now that she's in Oregon. I want her to come home more, but she's pretty intent on becoming successful and succeeding through medical school for some reason... obviously I'm more important! :) She's so amazing, I really admire her strength and independence. I can't wait to see her this Thanksgiving! (she is coming home tonight but it's now 9:00PM and she's still on her way home from Moab with her boyfriend Chris and she'll be leaving pretty early tomorrow for a conference. I'm excited to see her tonight but I know it won't be a very long time.

Halloween!!!

WSU Dental Hygiene Class of 2010 ready for the Halloween Party 2009!!! We've got such an awesome class, I'm really glad I'm a part of it.

The odd couple. I am Ben and Ben's a hillbilly fisherman!

Look at that chest hair!!!

My pitiful attempt to strike a "ben pose".

Me, Abby and Staci at the Hygiene party (I'm a furcation with an amalgum filling so yes, I do in fact know that my skirt is falling down... don't you know diseased gingiva when you see it???

The Waiting Game

The New Century Cabin, I love this picture!

My Cute Parents

Boating on Island Park Reservoir

Four wheeling at Island Park.

There he is...

Well, I'm really good at being patient... I wasn't, I'll admit it. I wasn't being patient with life for the last few weeks and I don't know why, I don't know what got into me but I was getting really frustrated with having to wait and not being able to make things happen any faster. I'm okay though. Actually, no, I'm not OKAY, I'm AMAZING! I'm so happy, things in life honestly couldn't be better! I'm achieving some very big goals that I've had set for a long time now and I have the most amazing and supporting family and even better, I have the very best boyfriend ever. I really love him and I KNOW that he loves me. I don't know what it is about him but for the first time in my life I KNOW what I want and I KNOW that he wants the same. I am not afraid, I'm not trying to find excuses or run away and I think that is why I became so impatient, because it just feels so right. But I realized today and late last night that everything is perfect! EVERYTHING feels right because it IS so right and I was only getting stressed out because I didn't want to wait but not waiting isn't right. I'm supposed to wait and be patient and things will all work out perfectly. Since I've figured that out (I know, I'm silly because honestly, that's not that difficult of a concept) but since I realized that I've been completely at peace. I haven't stressed or worried and I'm HAPPY. I really am, I'm perfectly happy and content!!! I love my life!!!