Why I've Been Such a Mess

So after clinic on Monday I went to the hospital to check in on Colby. I skipped out on my SI because I was so worried about him and of course, the first thing he did when I got there was make sure I didn't miss any school trying to come see him. He told me the whole story and oh my, he's really lucky to be alive right now... I feel pretty lucky he's alive right now. His car wasn't stopping at the red light by Kobe and the other cars were already pulling out into the intersection so he swerved to try and miss them and ended up slamming dead on into the stoplight pole going 45-50 mph! He sent the street sign and cross walk pole flying like 50 feet. When the cops arrived they were expecting it to be pretty ugly but someone must have been watching over him because even though his car was totally smashed and all his tools had flown to the front of his car (including a drill kit and saws all...) He was relatively ok. He had been knocked unconcious but he was still alive and the cop was able to wake him up to get some of his information. He walked out of there with and subdural hemmorrhage in his right parietal lobe and a epidural hemmorrhage in his left occipital lobe, pneumothorax, contusions on his kidneys, a splenic puncture, and a broken costal bone in the superior, posterior region of his back. He had to get stitches on his eyebrow and elbow, but other than that and a rather swollen left side of his face and body, he looked pretty good. He doesn't really bruise easily and thank goodness he's in really good shape and was driving a big car so he wasn't in as bad of a condition as could have been expected. The first ct scan also showed a dialated aorta which got me really worried becasue I know how dangerous that can be and how much that could change his entire life but in the second ct it looked normal and they think it was dialated because the first scan must have captured it during ventricular contraction. He'll still be confined to little more than bedrest for the next 8 weeks but at least he's alive and wont be needing surgery so far. I stayed at the hospital pretty much all day after clinic until 10:00PM when he had a four hour window without being woken up by the nurses for vital signs, meds, or anything else like that so I left to avoid disturbing his sleep. I also spent yesterday at the hospital and at his house when he was released at 4PM until 10:00. He's doing well and it's kind of funny to see him on loritab since he rarely even takes ibuprofen so he's a major light weight when it comes to pain meds. As I was leaving yesterday I told him I was going home and he said "me too" so then I told him to drive home safely and he replied "thanks, I'll see you later." I'm really glad he's ok but it still has been getting to me to think of how close I came to losing him this week... I don't know if I'd have been strong enough to handle that, it's already hard enough to be strong when I see him hurting and know that I can't really do anything to help him.